Self image

I missed a turn during Team run practice last week and ended up running alone for a little while on 50th Ave (not far from where I live). Some young black guy in a white car went by and honked/waved like he knew me. I caught up to him a little further up the street. He was stopped in the middle of the crosswalk and as I walked behind his car he asked if I was single and said I was really beautiful. I said I was married and started running again.

The experience left me with some confusing emotions. I was running and sweaty and did not feel beautiful in the least bit. I’ve been very bothered lately by my weight. I hate seeing pictures of myself. The conflict is that on the inside I feel thinner and beautiful, but lately when I see my reflection I find myself ugly. When this guy gave what some would consider a compliment, I caught myself wondering if he was mocking me! The whole experience was just creepy… who thinks they can actually pick up women that way anyways?!? But the way it made me feel is still bothering me.

Apparently I don’t think others see me as beautiful (even though Yancy tells me I am all the time). I know it shouldn’t matter what others think, but this is a sign of low confidence and I don’t like it.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Grandma
    Jul 25, 2012 @ 07:53:19

    My Beautiful Amy Lynn, There are getting to me more and more sicko people in this world, You should NEVER walk, run, or even bicycle out of the sight of people. Believe that in certain circumstances some would rape or worse. I am not trying to make you paranoid about your lifestyle, just be AWARE that things happen all the time…..I love you and hope that you never come to any harm, but always be aware of your surroundings. Grandma

    Reply

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