A beautiful woman

About a month ago I made a spontaneous trip to Eastern Washington to meet with some family. My grandma hadn’t been feeling well for a while. The doctors found fluid in her lungs and sent her to Wenatchee to have it removed. They found cancer cells in the fluid. After more testing the doctors say my grandma has advanced lung cancer. She’ll be starting chemo on Monday, but has reservations about how chemo will affect her quality of life. She’s already in a lot of pain because of the cancer that has spread into her bones. It’s scarey to think about someone you dearly love having to face this diagnosis. It makes you a little angry to think how unfair it is. It makes you think about life and death and wonder if there’s something you should be doing or should have done. The emotions are strong and confusing. It’s easy to give someone an encouraging word, but when the person suffering is so close, it’s hard to come up with something to say. It hurts too much to consider this world without them. You know you need to be positive, but it’s hard when the whirlwind of emotions overtakes you. The rock in your throat makes it hard to speak. Even though things seem scarey and unfair, we must hold onto hope. We must celebrate life and be happy for all the good moments we’ve shared. Life is an epic adventure, but no one gets out alive. Some leave the journey too soon. But we all leave. It’s what we do on the journey that’s important.

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Grandma, I love you more than I can put into words. You are in some of my earliest and happiest memories. I have always looked up to you and love to just spend time with you. You have always been kind and always have a smile for me. You like to have fun, and I rarely hear you complain. I hope you know that I’ve always felt like this and I’m not just saying it because of the cancer. You are an amazing and beautiful woman. All I can do now is hope for a successful and “easy” treatment. I know that you are strong and will fight to survive. I respect your choice to have treatment or to refuse it. These decisions can’t be easy for you. Just know that you are very loved no matter what happens. We want you to stay with us for many more years!

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Grandma
    Aug 03, 2012 @ 17:03:11

    Oh, Amy that is so beautiful and we have alwys had something special between us.
    Thank you for your encouraging words…

    Reply

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