Resolutions?

I went through a stage in life where I would make “New Year’s Resolutions” every January (I think this was my late teens, early 20’s). Like most people, I dropped most of mine. But those were usually the dramatic and unrealistic ones. Lately I tend to set new “intentions” for myself each year around my birthday. And it’s been kind of fun looking back through journals and realizing how many of those intentions became reality… things like owning a motorcycle and doing a full marathon. When we frequently and realistically ponder the things we really want and what would make us happy, it’s easier to make those things happen. This year I don’t have any lofty goals, but I do intend to do a few things. First, I’m gonna do the best I can at this adventure called parenting. But this year I also want to focus on my own identity, and not loose it to motherhood. I want to pay attention to my health and fitness (one concrete goal is to do another half marathon this year). I want to spend time meeting new friends and holding tight to old ones. I want to find ways to be creative and express myself (one good way is through writing). Sooooo, I guess I’ll start blogging again. It’ll probably be mostly about raising my son, but I’ll try to incorporate some of my more personal growth journeys too.

Closing this blog

I’m thinking of shutting this blog down. I find very little motivation to keep it up over the last few months. Most people that read this can also follow me on FB. And the others should have my phone number. It’s been fun to keep a photo journal of my life over the last few years, but I honestly did that mostly for the amusement of my grandmother, and since she’s no longer with us, it’s hard to continue.

Movements!

Today marks “17 weeks” of my pregnancy. Only 3 more weeks until the halfway point and the big ultrasound to examine our baby. Since this is my first baby, I wasn’t expecting to feel movements for another week or two, but I’ve already felt some! They started several days ago, but I thought it was just my imagination. Then on Saturday I was laying down to rest after a bunch of packing and cleaning and I definitely felt the baby moving around. As soon I started talking it stopped. This is pretty exciting. I can’t wait to see the baby on ultrasound and hopefully find out its gender.

My mom told me stories about when she was pregnant with me and I would get hiccups. I’m really looking forward to having that experience. 🙂

I really miss my grandma. It would have been fun to call her on the phone and tell her all about my experiences.

Still here…. and pregnant :P

I can’t believe it’s been over two months since my last blog! So much has happened in that time. I found out at the end of May that I am pregnant. The baby is due February 3rd, 2014. We’re kind of hoping for a boy, but will be happy with a healthy girl or boy. I should find out the gender after my ultrasound on September 16th. So far I’m doing well. The morning sickness was really mild, mostly just nausea and loss of appetite. I lost a couple pounds, but the doctor is not concerned. I had some ultrasounds for a screening test and the baby is growing at the perfect rate, with a strong heartbeat and lots of movement. This is an exciting time, but I’m also nervous about all the big changes that will come. Everyone tells me that we’ll be great parents. But what makes a good parent? And how will we handle the new stresses and expenses of an additional family member? Yancy and I celebrated our 8 year wedding anniversary last week. We’ve been through a lot so far and have only grown stronger, so I think it will all be ok, but these worries still nag at me.

We’re also in the process of buying a new home. If all goes according to plan, we should close and move into the new home (in Shoreline, WA) by the end of August. It’s said that buying a home and having a child are high on the list of major life changes and stresses, but ironically, the thing most stressful to me at the moment is breaking our rental lease. I’ve never done this before and I’m getting the feeling that this is not going to go smoothly. I’m going to try to stay calm and focus on more important things… wish me luck!

I’ll also be finishing my internship this month and officially be done with school. Once we’re moved I’ll be looking for a job, hopefully very close to our new home.

I have lots of pictures to post from our vacation (to Vegas, then camping in WA), but those will have to be in another post. Ta ta for now.  🙂

 

Goodbye Colby :(

We brought our cat to the vet today for loss of appetite, loss of energy, and increased thirst. He’s lost a lot of weight and you can tell he hasn’t been feeling well. Turns out his kidneys were shutting down, and have been for some time. We’ve done everything we can to keep him healthy, from fancy water dishes to expensive foods. There’s really nothing more we can do. The vet recommended euthanizing him, saying that he probably wouldn’t survive the rest of the week. It was hard, but we decided to have it done today. Otherwise we would be bringing him home to prolong his suffering. There’s been a few tears shed. I wonder if everyone has such heartache when loosing a pet. He’s been our one and only for 7 years. But I also wonder if I’m being overly emotional. Watching him not eat and get so skinny really reminds me of my grandmother’s last week of life. Maybe some of the pain I’m feeling is just resurfacing from last month.    Loss is hard.  😦

Colby was  a funny cat. He was rambunctious and entertaining. He was great at snuggling, especially when I wasn’t feeling well. He loved the sunshine and grass (‘cept he was always trying to eat the grass). When he “helped” me with laundry I always had to fight the dryer sheets away from him (he tried to eat those as well). Whenever a can of any kind was opened in the kitchen (or pretty much any cooking for that matter), he had to investigate. More than once I woke up with him standing on my chest with his mouth right against mine. He was a great spider hunter (but never really killed the spiders). He had the funniest meow when watching birds play outside the window. When we came home he would roll around on the living room floor purring and asking for belly rubs. When we had parties, he would prance around acting so cute, but staying just out of reach. He was curious about, but scared of babies. He had a habit of drinking out of my water glass when I wasn’t looking (did catch him in the act a few times, but mostly could only tell by the water droplets surrounding my glass). He was pretty smart too, he knew when he was breaking the rules. He was very afraid of thunder and hail storms, nothing we did could pull him out from hiding. I once thought he had escaped, and after looking EVERYWHERE, found him perched on top of the fridge just watching me. In the last few months his favorite place to sit was in between me and my computer. I’ll miss his warm snuggles. I’ll miss his “welcome home” display. I’ll miss his funny personality. I’ll miss his company. Colby was a great cat.

Goodbye Colby. We loved you!!!

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Goodbye Grandma, I will blog on

My grandma was the main reason I’ve kept this blog going. She would log on every day to see my latest adventures. I wasn’t very good about calling her very often, so this was one way for her to stay caught up with me. I do talk to my mom on the phone regularly. Sometimes Mom would tell Grandma (her mom) something I had been doing and Grandma would say “I knew that days ago!” 🙂 As you know through previous posts, Grandma had lung cancer and the chemo treatments stopped working. Because of my unique situation of not working and having online classes, I was able to visit her pretty often in the last few months. Shortly after my last post, her health started rapidly declining. Within a few weeks, she went from answering the phone herself, eating normal meals, going for short walks… to being totally dependent on others for her care. It was heartbreaking to watch such a strong woman go through these changes. I stopped blogging for a while because it only brought the realization that she wouldn’t be reading it anymore. Even now, over a month since she passed away, it’s difficult to post. This blog was a connection I had with my dear grandma. I actually thought of closing the blog. But after more thought, I’ve decided to continue in her honor.

I read a quote recently that said something along the lines of “Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness, when shared is doubled.” (author unknown) This blog is a place for me to share my joys and struggles. So I’ll continue to blog… even if no one reads it.

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Christmas Eve’s Eve :)

Well, it’s feeling a little more like Christmas this evening while I’m sitting here drinking a glass of homemade eggnog (from a friend). We went shopping today for Yancy’s Christmas present, a fancy new computer monitor. My Christmas gifts this year were a pedicure (super fun by the way) and over $400 worth of textbooks for college. When Yancy asked me if I wanted anything else, I honestly couldn’t think of anything. And that feels really good! To be satisfied with what you already have is a gift in itself really. I am excited about my future and accepting of where I am now.

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. I’m super bummed to not be spending the holiday with my family. My sister drove all the way from Montana (to north-central WA) and I rarely get to see her. Everyone is getting together at our grandparents house like we’ve done so many years. But this year is likely my grandmother’s last Christmas with the family. I sure hope she enjoys every minute of it. I have wonderful memories of past holidays with my grandparents. We would have a grand dinner early in the evening of Christmas Eve (seriously rivaling the Thanksgiving meal), then sit around listening to music (sometimes they’d make us girls sing carols), and wait until fooorrrrevvver to open gifts (at least it felt that way as a kid).  :O)  To this day, I must have sparkling cider for Christmas and I certainly crave Grandma’s broccoli rice casserole! Grandma used to make knitted slippers every year and we’d get to pick out our favorite color.

Other than shopping and running errands today, we went to the last circuit training class of the year. Yesterday Yancy and I went stair climbing at Howe Street. I only did three sets, he did five (188 steps UP), and we’re both really sore today! Tomorrow is going to be pretty funny with us moaning and groaning every time we have to get up from sitting or go down any stairs!  😛

Pictures to come with another post.

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